Online shopping replacing traditional shops
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
In many countries, people increasingly buy goods online instead of visiting shops in person. Why is online shopping growing so quickly? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Band 7 model answer (260 words)
Shopping habits have shifted dramatically over the past decade, with more purchases moving from the high street to websites and apps. This essay explains the main reasons behind the rise of online shopping and argues that, on the whole, it is a positive development.
The growth is driven above all by convenience and price. A customer can compare dozens of sellers in minutes, order at midnight, and have goods delivered to the door, none of which a physical shop can match. Online retailers also avoid the rent and staffing costs of a city-centre store, so they can undercut traditional prices. A further push came from the pandemic, which forced even reluctant shoppers online and showed them how easy the process had become.
I believe this shift benefits society more than it harms it. Consumers in small towns now have the same choice as those in capital cities, and people with limited mobility can shop independently for the first time. Competition between sellers also keeps prices honest, which matters most to families on tight budgets.
The obvious cost is the decline of the high street, as familiar shops close and town centres lose their character. This loss is real, but it signals a change of role rather than an ending: the shops that thrive now offer experiences, service and immediacy that a website cannot copy.
In conclusion, online shopping is growing because it is cheaper and dramatically more convenient, and despite the pressure it puts on traditional retailers, the wider gains in access and affordability make it a positive development overall.
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Response
Both questions are answered fully: causes get a developed paragraph, and the positive-or-negative judgement is stated early ("on the whole, it is a positive development") and defended, including an honest look at the downside.
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Coherence and Cohesion
The two parts of the task map cleanly onto the paragraphs, and phrases such as "A further push" and "The obvious cost" move the argument forward naturally.
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Lexical Resource
Accurate, less common items such as "undercut traditional prices", "keeps prices honest" and "a change of role rather than an ending".
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures, including the parallel list in paragraph two ("compare... order... have goods delivered") and concessive sentences, with strong accuracy throughout.
The one fix to reach Band 7
On two-part questions, Band 6 answers often spend everything on the "why" and leave the judgement to a single sentence. Reaching Band 7 means giving each part its own developed paragraphs and stating your verdict clearly, not just implying it.
Now check your own answer.
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