Letter to the council about a local park
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
A park in your area has become run down and is no longer pleasant to visit. Write a letter to your local council. In your letter:
- describe the current condition of the park
- explain why the park matters to local people
- suggest improvements the council could make
Band 7 model answer (161 words)
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing about the condition of Alder Park on Weston Road, which has been badly neglected over the past year.
The park is now in a poor state. The children's playground has two broken swings that have been taped off since March, the flower beds are overgrown, and several bins are overflowing, which has spread litter across the main lawn. The single working streetlight also makes the park feel unsafe after dusk.
This is a real loss for the area, because Alder Park is the only green space within walking distance for hundreds of families. Older residents used to meet there daily, and the primary school once used the field for sports lessons, but many people now avoid it altogether.
May I suggest repairing the playground first, then clearing the beds, emptying the bins more frequently and fixing the lighting? I believe these fairly modest steps would quickly bring the community back.
Yours faithfully,
George Adeyemi
Why this reaches Band 7
-
Task Achievement
The condition is documented with specifics ("two broken swings that have been taped off since March"), the community impact covers families, older residents and the school, and the suggestions are ordered by priority rather than dumped in a list.
-
Coherence and Cohesion
Problem, importance, solution: each has its own paragraph, and "This is a real loss for the area" pivots cleanly from description to argument.
-
Lexical Resource
Civic vocabulary used accurately and naturally, such as "badly neglected", "green space within walking distance" and "fairly modest steps".
-
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Confident complex sentences, including the polite proposal form "May I suggest repairing...", with very few slips.
The one fix to reach Band 7
A Band 6 letter to the council tends to complain in general terms ("the park is dirty and dangerous"). The change that lifts it to Band 7 is evidence: name the park, date the damage, say who is affected, and rank your suggestions so the council can act on them.
Now check your own answer.
Paste your own attempt at this prompt and Examinerly names the single criterion keeping you below your target band, and shows the sentence-level fix. We never inflate your band.
Check your writing free