Why young people leave home earlier
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
In some countries, young people are choosing to move out of the family home at an earlier age than in the past. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?
Band 7 model answer (270 words)
In many parts of the world, young adults now leave their parents' house soon after finishing school, far earlier than previous generations did. This essay will explain the main causes of the trend and argue that, on balance, it is a positive development.
Two forces largely drive the change. The first is opportunity: universities and skilled jobs are concentrated in large cities, so a young person from a smaller town often has to relocate simply to study or work, regardless of any wish for independence. The second is cultural. Independence itself has become a marker of success; social media and films portray the early twenties as a time for building one's own life, and living with parents past a certain age can attract quiet disapproval, however unfair that judgement may be.
This trend is positive chiefly because early independence accelerates growth. Young people who pay rent, cook for themselves and handle their own emergencies develop judgement and resilience years before peers who remain looked after. Making mistakes at twenty, with small stakes and parents still a phone call away, is far cheaper than making them at thirty-five with a family depending on the outcome.
The drawbacks are real but manageable. Rent consumes income that could be saved, and some young people feel lonely in a new city. Yet these pressures teach budgeting and push people to build their own social networks, which are themselves valuable adult skills.
In conclusion, young people are leaving home earlier because opportunity pulls them away and culture now encourages it, and since independence learned early is independence learned cheaply, I consider this a positive development.
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Response
Both parts of the question are answered fully and in proportion: two developed causes, then a clear evaluation that even converts the drawbacks into part of the argument. Nothing in the task is left unaddressed.
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay map in the introduction is honoured exactly, and internal signposts such as "The first is opportunity" and "The second is cultural" keep the two-part structure effortless to follow.
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Lexical Resource
Flexible phrasing like "a marker of success", "quiet disapproval" and "independence learned early is independence learned cheaply" is precise and occasionally striking without becoming unnatural.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparatives ("far cheaper than making them at thirty-five"), concessives and non-finite clauses are all handled accurately, with errors hard to find.
The one fix to reach Band 7
On two-part questions, Band 6 essays typically answer the causes well and then rush the evaluation into two sentences. The fix that reaches Band 7 is giving the second question a full, reasoned paragraph of its own, with your verdict stated as clearly as your causes.
Now check your own answer.
Paste your own attempt at this prompt and Examinerly names the single criterion keeping you below your target band, and shows the sentence-level fix. We never inflate your band.
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