Getting more women into senior positions
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
Although many women now work, they still hold far fewer senior positions in companies than men do. Some people say governments should require companies to appoint more women to top jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 7 model answer (264 words)
Women make up nearly half the workforce in many countries, yet boardrooms remain overwhelmingly male. I largely agree that government intervention is justified, because decades of waiting for change have produced very little of it, although rules must be designed carefully.
The strongest argument for intervention is that voluntary progress has been remarkably slow. Companies have promised equal opportunity for a generation, yet women still hit a ceiling somewhere below senior management, often because leaders recruit people who resemble themselves. Quotas or reporting requirements break this cycle by forcing firms to look seriously at candidates they would otherwise overlook. Norway's board quota, for instance, transformed the make-up of its major companies within a few years, something persuasion had failed to achieve in decades.
Critics argue that mandated appointments undermine the principle of merit and can stigmatise the women they promote. This concern deserves a serious answer, but it assumes the current system already rewards merit, which the evidence contradicts: if talent were the only filter, the near absence of women at the top of so many industries would be an extraordinary coincidence. Well-designed rules do not appoint the unqualified; they widen the pool from which qualified people are chosen.
Regulation alone is not sufficient, of course. Affordable childcare and shared parental leave matter just as much, because many women leave the promotion track when caring responsibilities fall solely on them.
In conclusion, I support government requirements as a necessary correction to a market that has failed to fix itself, provided they are paired with policies that make senior careers genuinely possible for both parents.
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Response
A qualified position, agreement "although rules must be designed carefully", is established early and developed through evidence, rebuttal and a supporting condition, which is fuller treatment than simply agreeing.
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Coherence and Cohesion
The counter-argument paragraph is genuinely woven into the argument: "This concern deserves a serious answer, but..." engages the objection instead of just listing it.
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Lexical Resource
Precise, less common phrasing such as "hit a ceiling", "stigmatise", "widen the pool" and "an extraordinary coincidence" is deployed with clear control.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sophisticated structures, including the conditional "if talent were the only filter... would be an extraordinary coincidence", are used accurately throughout.
The one fix to reach Band 7
Band 6 essays on this topic often agree with the statement and then merely describe the problem. The change that earns Band 7 is answering the strongest objection, here the merit argument, head-on rather than pretending it does not exist.
Now check your own answer.
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