Overcrowding in cities
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
Many major cities around the world are becoming severely overcrowded as their populations grow. What problems does overcrowding cause, and how could these problems be reduced?
Band 7 model answer (255 words)
As people continue to move to cities in search of work, many urban areas now hold far more residents than they were designed for. This essay will examine the main problems overcrowding creates and suggest how governments can relieve the pressure.
The most visible problem is the strain on housing and services. When demand for homes far exceeds supply, rents rise until ordinary workers are pushed into cramped flats or distant suburbs, and in the poorest cities into informal settlements without clean water or sanitation. Hospitals, schools and transport systems built for smaller populations become permanently overloaded, so queues lengthen and quality falls for everyone. Overcrowding also damages daily life in subtler ways: longer commutes, dirtier air and the low-level stress of never having enough space.
The most promising solutions work on both supply and demand. On the supply side, cities can build upwards and renew neglected districts, increasing the number of homes near jobs, while extending metro and bus lines so that new neighbourhoods remain connected. On the demand side, governments can reduce the pull of the megacity itself by investing in smaller regional cities, moving public institutions there and giving companies tax incentives to follow. When good jobs, universities and hospitals exist in several cities rather than one, migration spreads instead of piling into a single centre.
In conclusion, overcrowding drives up housing costs, overwhelms public services and erodes quality of life. Building more and better-connected housing, while deliberately developing regional cities, would tackle both the symptoms and the source of the problem.
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Response
Problems are traced through their consequences (rents rise "until ordinary workers are pushed into cramped flats"), and the supply and demand framing gives the solutions a logic instead of a list. Both question parts are fully covered.
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Coherence and Cohesion
The phrase "work on both supply and demand" organises the entire solutions paragraph in advance, and "On the supply side... On the demand side" delivers exactly what it promised.
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Lexical Resource
Precise urban vocabulary: "informal settlements", "regional cities", "tax incentives", "the pull of the megacity". "Low-level stress of never having enough space" is a nice less common touch.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Long multi-clause sentences are controlled well, for example the "while extending metro and bus lines..." participle structure, and errors are hard to find.
The one fix to reach Band 7
Band 6 essays on overcrowding usually offer "build more houses" as the whole solution. The move to Band 7 is to attack demand as well as supply: explain how strengthening other cities stops the crowding at its source, not just where it hurts.
Now check your own answer.
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