Letter about lost property on a train
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
You left a bag on a train and would like to get it back. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter:
- describe the item and where you left it
- explain why it is important to you
- ask what you should do to recover it
Band 7 model answer (162 words)
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to report a bag that I left on the 17:42 service from London Euston to Birmingham New Street on Monday 6 July.
The item is a dark green canvas rucksack with brown leather straps, which I left on the luggage rack above seat 21 in coach C. Inside are a silver laptop, a pair of glasses and a notebook with my name written on the first page.
The bag matters to me a great deal. The laptop contains a research project I have been working on for months, and the notebook holds interview notes that would be impossible to replace.
Could you please tell me whether the bag has been handed in, and what I should do to collect it? I can provide proof of identity and a fuller description, and I am willing to travel to any of your offices. I can be reached on 07700 900123 at any time.
Yours faithfully,
Elena Marsh
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Achievement
The description is precise enough to act on (train time, route, "above seat 21 in coach C", contents), the importance is explained rather than asserted, and the recovery question is asked directly with contact details supplied.
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Coherence and Cohesion
One paragraph per bullet in the order the reader needs them: what and where, why it matters, what happens next.
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Lexical Resource
Exact, formal wording such as "handed in", "proof of identity" and "impossible to replace", with the descriptive detail ("dark green canvas rucksack") a lost property office actually needs.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Accurate relative clauses and indirect questions ("whether the bag has been handed in"), keeping the tone formal without becoming stiff.
The one fix to reach Band 7
Band 6 versions describe the bag vaguely ("a black bag with my things"). The single change that reaches Band 7 is specificity: give the train, the seat, the contents and a contact number, so every bullet is answered with detail the company can use.
Now check your own answer.
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