Globalisation and local culture
This is a model answer written to show what a Band 7 response looks like against the marking criteria. It is a worked example, not a graded submission. To see your own band, paste your writing into the free checker.
The prompt
Some people think that globalisation is destroying local cultures and traditions, while others believe it makes them richer and more diverse. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Band 7 model answer (267 words)
Globalisation has connected the world more closely than ever before, and people disagree about its effect on local cultures. Some fear that it is wiping out traditions, while others see it as a source of variety and renewal. In my view, although globalisation brings real pressures, it enriches local cultures more than it harms them.
Those who worry about globalisation point to the spread of a single, mostly Western way of life. The same fast-food chains, films and fashions now appear in almost every city, and young people increasingly prefer them to their own traditions. Local languages, crafts and customs can fade when they seem old-fashioned beside imported alternatives, and once a tradition is lost it is very hard to recover. Small communities that once had their own dress, music and festivals can end up looking much like everywhere else.
On the other hand, supporters argue that contact between cultures adds to them rather than erasing them. When people travel and trade freely, they borrow food, music and ideas from one another, and this mixing creates something fresh and diverse. A local festival can reach a global audience online, and traditional crafts can find new customers abroad. I find this view more convincing, because cultures have always changed by absorbing outside influences, and exposure often makes people value their own heritage more.
In conclusion, while globalisation can threaten traditions that fail to adapt, I believe it does more to enrich local cultures by exposing them to new ideas and new audiences. The key is for communities to welcome outside influences while still protecting what makes them distinctive.
Why this reaches Band 7
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Task Response
Both views are explained fairly in their own paragraphs, and the writer's own opinion is stated in the introduction and defended in the conclusion, which the "give your own opinion" instruction requires.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing with one view per body paragraph, and signposting such as "On the other hand" makes the shift between sides easy to follow.
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Lexical Resource
Accurate topic language such as "the spread of a single, mostly Western way of life", "absorbing outside influences" and "heritage", used naturally.
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Controlled complex sentences and contrast structures, with few errors.
The one fix to reach Band 7
This kind of essay stalls at Band 6 when it describes both views well but hides the writer's opinion. The fix is to state your position in the introduction and return to it in the conclusion, so the examiner is never left guessing which side you favour.
Now check your own answer.
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